Kathy Petersen’s Blog

Adoptive couples I know

Posted in abortion, children, infertility, Uncategorized by Kathy on January 5, 2009

When I hear from abortion advocates who say that only white newborns are the only adoptable babies, I want to scream and laugh. From my small circle of friends and acquaintances, I know numerous white couples who have adopted many children who were not newborns at adoption and/or are not Caucasian. I’m going to write them here, so that next time I come across someone who seems to think abortion is okay because nobody adopts non-white children or older children, I can just direct them here, rather than writing it out again and again. When I say “older children” I’m meaning anyone over about a few months old, typically a child of about a couple years of age. Most of these people adopted because one spouse or the other is infertile, but some of them do have biological children. All couples are American, and all are white (except one person who is half-white, half-Vietnamese).

I’ll start with the only ones I know who adopted only white infants — my uncle and aunt who are both of pure Dutch ancestry, and wanted to adopt a baby who was at least half-Dutch; their two children both have full-blooded Dutch birth-mothers.

  • Anna and her husband adopted two children from Ethiopia (their ages at the times of the adoptions were 13 and 7 months old)
  • a couple who are friends with Anna adopted one child from Ethiopia and a black child from America (neither were newborns)
  • Laura and her husband adopted a white child of about the age of 4, after his mother’s parental rights were terminated
  • Curt and Fancy adopted a Hispanic newborn; they wanted to adopt their two (white) foster children (ages 3 & 5 at the start of their foster care), whom they cared for for 3 years, but the children’s mother cleaned up her act and got them back
  • Curt’s brother also adopted a Hispanic newborn
  • one couple I know is a white man and a half-Vietnamese woman; they unsuccessfully tried to adopt a Vietnamese child, then decided to adopt from Russia; recently, they adopted two Vietnamese children (all of whom were several months old at the time of the adoptions)
  • another couple adopted three Korean children some 30 years ago, a girl and identical twin boys
  • one couple in Alabama adopted three children, all in early infancy, a girl and two boys; all of the children are mixed-race
  • another couple in Ohio has “his, hers, ours… and theirs“, as the mother likes to say — they each have at least one child from a previous relationship in addition to at least one child together, plus numerous children by adoption. At least one of the adopted children is mixed-race, and most if not all of them were adopted when they were older — I’ve known them since before the adoption of the last two, who are full brother and sister, and are about 2 & 4 years of age
  • one couple who attended our church for a few years — they already had two white children by adoption — I believe the oldest was gotten as an infant; I’m not sure about the second. This younger child, a boy, has learning disabilities (and possibly some other kinds of disabilities), but I don’t know if the parents know this when they adopted him — I never knew he had any disabilities at the time I knew him, but it became more apparent as he grew older — he’s now about 16 and has minimal reading skills, as an example. Then while they were members of our church, they adopted three siblings who were of Hispanic descent, approximately aged 2-5 at the time of the adoption.

Most of these people may yet try to adopt again (although the older couples are probably done), since most of them have adopted their youngest children only recently — the last year or so.

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3 Responses

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  1. Margie said, on January 6, 2009 at 2:37 am

    I stumbled upon your blog via a WordPress search today, and hope you forgive my comment, given that I have never read your blog nor know you. But this subject is very dear to my heart, and I hope to offer you another point of view.

    I respect and appreciate your point of view regarding abortion. However, as an adoptive parent (of two Korean teens), I worry when those who are pro-life look to adoption as the primary alternative to abortion. What this perspective has done is close the minds of many who are pro-life to very real and very needed adoption reforms, including the opening of adoptee birth records (which pro-life advocates oppose out of fear that it would drive women from choosing adoption, which research has shown to be untrue) and establishment of pregnancy counseling that focuses on parenting rather than adoption.

    I hope you understand that my point here is not to challenge, but simply to offer food for thought. Thanks.

    • Kathy said, on January 6, 2009 at 12:51 pm

      Margie,

      I understand what you’re saying. My point was more of an answer to some pro-abortion statements I’ve seen (and rather suspect I’ll see again), to the effect of “only white newborns are wanted for adoption, so it’s better for non-white mothers to abort than give their babies up for adoption, because they’ll just languish in foster care for 18 years.” They don’t put it quite so bluntly as that, but that is the implication of what they say. Basically, I wrote this list for easy reference to such people to show that in my small circle of friends and acquaintances, that is not the case. I know it won’t change their views regarding abortion, but it’s one less “crutch” for them to be able to lean on.

      Kathy

  2. Mixed Roots Film & Literary Festival said, on January 11, 2009 at 5:21 am

    We are looking for stories of the transracial/cultural adoptive experience. Would you mind sharing this with your readers? Let us know if you’d like a logo!

    The Mixed Roots Film & Literary Festival is NOW ACCEPTING SUBMISSIONS!

    The largest west coast Loving Day celebration kicks off the 2nd Annual Mixed Roots Film & Literary Festival on June 12, 2009. The Festival celebrates storytelling of the Mixed racial and cultural experience and brings together innovative artists, film and book lovers, and families for two days of writing and film workshops, readings, film screenings, a special family event and live performance by talented comedians, musicians and actors. All events are free and open to the public.

    WE ARE CURRENTLY ACCEPTING FILM, LITERARY, LIVE PERFORMANCE, WORKSHOP AND EVENT SUBMISSIONS.
    For submission requirements and more information, visit: http://www.mxroots.org

    Thank you,

    Fanshen Cox & Heidi Durrow
    Founders, Mixed Roots Film & Literary Festival
    http://www.mxroots.org
    mxrootsfest(at)gmail(dot)com


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